Compliments of DM1

Special High Intensity
Training (S.H.I.T)


  
In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
  from

employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained
  through

our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.).
  We are trying

to give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you
  feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T. on the job,

please see
  your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the

S.H.I.T.
  list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you

get all
  the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

 
Employees who don’t take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in
  DEPARTMENTAL

EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T.). Those
  who fail to take

D.E.E.P.S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE
  ATTITUDE TRAINING

(E.A.T.S.H.I.T.).

 
Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted, they
  don’t

have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T.
  already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T., you may be interested in job training
  others.

We can add your name to our BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE
  LIST

(B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T.).

 
Those who are full of B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and
  can

apply for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING
  (D.I.P.S.H.I.T.).

 
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
  TRAINING,

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

 
Thank you,

 
BOSS IN GENERAL,

SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING

(B.I.G.
  S.H.I.T.)